A very apt title i think as you find me writing this blog at a very interesting time in my life.
The start of the year found me happy as larry, moving into my very own ( rented ) house with my Girlfriend, however the financial strain of supporting the both of us and the bills and rent meant that i was forever wasting away my overdraft and finally last week it hit rock bottom….10 pounds please Mr Cashpoint…..I dont think so buddy. This happened just after ( the same week ) my Girlfriend decided it was all too much, I train too much, Work too hard and we dont get to see each other as much as perhapswe should, maybe this is true, but its my feelings that if we were right for each other then we would have been content with the time we did get to send together, this was clearly not the case and it was clearly misunderstood that i needed to workas hard as i did to even attempt to pay the bills! This put me on a massive low and strangely took me back to a very dark place in my past involving another big ( and nasty ) break up, one i never wanted to repeat, but strangely i did, i found myself in exactly the same situation,normally from being too nice to someone and then getting stung…maybe i will learn one day. 
I have to say that friends and students alike have been hugely supportive, i think its been obvious that i have not been myself lately and every time i think im getting over the whole thing something else comes along to upset me, im now sure that its all over with, i am moving on with bigger and brighter things on the horizon, i truely feel that this is all for the better and i will emerge stronger and happier! I am now concentrating on my training and fitness and also contemplating a new Martial Art to keep me occupied and put me back in the role of student, but what to choose! Keet Kune Do is a possibility, i know 2 friends with direct lineage back to Bruce Lee and Dan Inosanto ( not the cheap imitations ) so thats a possibility, Somehow i have never taken much interest due to the whole Bruce Lee tag applied, but im sure its a good concept ( not style…CONCEPT ) and i will learn loads to apply to my TSD, or i could do a Kickboxing style to improve my fighting but tbh theres not much good clubs like that around, the last possibility for me is a grappling system, a friend has recently adopted BJJ, im not sure of thats the system for me, i could look at Judo ( gasp ) or MMA – I will do my research, but it all boils down to cost and which days i have free. Will keep everyone updated on this.
Yesterday saw our second KGB private rental game, this is where we rent the Indoor Airsoft sight and use it for whatever we want, for me this was extra special, i was testing out my new JG G36C Assault Rifle, as opposed to my usual JG MP5J, Jesus! What a difference, with the 9V battery lodged inside the thing was firing like a monster and highly accurate, my MP5 would spray so was never fully accurate, and i have always rated myself as a good shooter, having Dad take me shooting from when i was a youngster ( i have always ben addicted to anything shooting related ) so i always found the MP5 frustrating. With the G36, everytime i spotted a target i could hit it pretty much bang on withthe first few shots, this was awesomely fun. The whole day was great and we all had a blast, im already left waiting for the next one. I would post a full review on here but im already doing that on the forums at www.fieldcraftandfirearms.couk and dont want to repeat myself! The G36 currently has a Green laser attached to the bottom and a scope on top, further enhancements will be a silencer and maybe a longer barrel ( fed through the silencer ), i may also upgrade the gears, raise the scope or change it altogether with a Holo sight, the possibilities are endless and i will have to see how funds fair.
I think that it for the moment. I hope you are all feeling as chipper as i am. Enjoy the sun.:)
um, not the same as her at all sweet, mainly becasue I’m still always here for you and have never been anything but upfront and honest with you! (and always will be for the record, be it in beer form or t’interwebs form)
you’re a silly boy sometimes.
and you know those aren’t the reasons we decided to split
so you still coming to michaellas birthday do on the beach? you’ll need to be getting a costume ready – theme is “blast from the past”
hope all is well and good and spangly.
xxx
Im Sorry, this was a rant written in the heat of the moment during great stress. I must apologise. Situations were misread and feelings unknown. I must say to anyone reading this blog ( all 4 of you i expect ) that ive recently learnt a lot about friendship and respect from this young lady, and in actual fact she has pulled me from a very dark and low place where i sat as happy as gollum wih no ring.
You are hugely missed Hex, It hurt so bad to lose you and I feel ive something huge missing in my life, but you will add something special to someone elses im sure, i wish you luck in everything you do and achieve, and i will be there somewhere supporting you from near or afar.
Thankyou for everything
I will get back to you asap about the party, i really would like to go, im just not sure if it clashes with my trip to Manchester for Pearl Jam, will check up on that asal and let you know.
Hope your good.
XxX
was good to see you at beach party, however briefly! just wouldnt have been the same without you there helping with costumes and chatting and nattering with you. was ace! hope you’re well my dear.
always here for you.
XxHugsxX